Sunday, March 9, 2014
These last few weeks have not been without their challenges in the Jordan home. Elliott caught a bug two weeks ago and ended up in the hospital overnight. Since then the weight of having a heart baby at home has really, really weighed on me.
Our winter in Southern California is pretty non-existent. A bit of sunshine every day, a lot of drought. For months and months we've lived life at home feeling somewhat, dare I say it, normal. Somehow we've adjusted to having a heart baby and another baby at home and have managed to dive into our routine as (what felt like) a normal, healthy, family of four. Elliott had a terrible cold the day after his sister was born in October and had to stay in the hospital overnight, but once the cold was gone we resumed with life. Same with the cold in January. A few hours in the ER, a breathing treatment and a steroid prescription were all we needed to get sent home that very day. But this last cold, the February cold as I call it, was different. A week or so before I felt on edge all the time. A heaviness weighed in my heart. I couldn't shake the fact that something felt not right, and before I knew it we were calling an ambulance because Elliott couldn't breathe.
Our life is not all sunshine. I try to remain upbeat, but sometimes, staying upbeat drives me crazy. Too many times I try to smile through it and the more I do the more I feel like my mind is going.
Last weekend it rained and you know what? It felt good. It felt good to see the rain soak the dry ground, bringing life to the parched pavement and dying Spring flowers. The gray skies were drenched in honesty, and I could relate to it. We are not always sunshine. We are the wet, cold truth of it. The grittiness of having a heart baby at home is not something we hide; sometimes pouring our heart out on the cold, dry ground is just what the doctor ordered. I took this photo last Monday, the day after the rain came down. Amazed, looking at my little guy and knowing what he's been through, I was surely thankful for rain.