Sunday, February 2, 2014

Red is...

I sat down at the beginning of the week to write this post thinking it would be easy only to find it made me feel anxious. I decided to stop because the anxiety was getting to me and I found it hard to sit still. I went about the week as normal until yesterday when I knew I needed to hunker down and write. There it was again… the anxiety welling up inside me with no intention of stopping, overflowing until I couldn’t handle it anymore.

I had never thought about what the color red meant until this week and as February 1st quickly approached I remembered that this was the month. The month that exactly one year ago we found out about Elliott’s heart. It’s the month our lives changed forever and although everything is wonderful right now the pain and the emotion of that time still sits at the surface and creeps up on me when I least expect it to. So I thought… what is red?

Red is bold

Red is brave

Red is intense

Red is beautiful

Red is the warmest of colors

Red is a representation of life… the blood that flows through our body.

Red resembles love

… and the heart.
Before our knowledge of Elliott’s heart we choose the color red to pop against a pale gray for his special knitted blanket made by his Grandma. I remember wanting to pick a mustard yellow, but felt pulled towards red. Red was his color. We chose the same colors for his baby shower and incorporated the colors into his nursery. When I think of red I think of Elliott. I think of his bravery, I think of his beautiful story knit so perfectly together bursting with intensity and love.

And did I mention he looks stinkin’ adorable in the color red?!

1 comment:

  1. This line very much applies to me. Thank you for putting it into words. "although everything is wonderful right now the pain and the emotion of that time still sits at the surface and creeps up on me when I least expect it to." We did not find out about my son's defects until after he was born. 4 hours to be exact. When I think of that first day, it makes me very emotional too.

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