Monday, January 6, 2014

Looking into the light.

This is my boy, Elliott Wilde.

Today I went back to work after four months of maternity leave. Elliott's little sister is just three months old and I was chatting with a co-worker & friend about how hard it is to separate from your kids for an entire work week. This is my second return to work in a year and truth be told this time was a bit easier. Going back to work after having Elliott was hard. Hard! He was diagnosed with his CHD at two months old, had surgery at three months, returned home from the hospital at four months, I was back to work at five months. I was a total, utter wreck during months two through five, and my friend mentioned how she couldn't even fathom how I had handled it all. The surgery, the stress, and then returning to work.

You just.... do, I said to her. Honestly even now I am not sure how I handled it. I just did. Even on the hardest of days the fight was never over. Elliott fought everyday in those months and I fought right beside him. Each new day meant putting the day before behind me. I think about so many of the heart families I have come into contact with since becoming a heart mom and I have become aware of how blessed we are that we get to continue to fight. Elliott is amazing. He is growing and thriving everyday, inching step by step toward becoming the amazing little guy he was always meant to be. In spite of all he's been through, what we've been through, he is doing so well; I have to look into the sky and know there is so much goodness that has come from this experience.

Being a heart mom isn't easy. There are days that are downright hard. But with the setting of each daily sun is the promise of a new beginning the very next day. A chance to look into the light and feel the warm promise of the next day ahead.

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